Not me! Monday

Inspired by MckMama to be brutally honest and live to tell about it! Check out her blog for other amazingly funny stories from mothers who don't claim to be perfect.

As for me, when asked how I was doing one day at work I did not claim it to be a "good day" because I didn't dry heave once during my shower that morning. That is just completely disgusting and embarrassing and *TMI for a coworker.

*too much information

I am not ashamed that I just realized that I have not updated my blog since June 13th. Afterall, what is the point of having a blog if you don't update it? I did not also just realize that my comment about dry heaving in the shower will only make sense to those who already know that I'm pregnant since I never made that announcement on my blog.

I did not wear pajamas for all but an hour and a half of yesterday. My son did not come to me at 4:00 pm and say "Uh oh. Why am I wearing this?" when he realized that I had never gotten him dressed either.

I am not proud that I can still fit in my regular clothes at 7 wks and 5 days along. I do not have a personal goal of making it to 8 wks without wearing maternity clothes when most woman can go much longer!

How about you? Anything you care to admit?

"Not me!" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

As for me, I did not spend nearly all of yesterday (minus 2 hours to go to church) in my pajamas. That would just be really lazy.

B did not drop a deuce (or "have a bowel movement" for you medically correct people) in his pants while waiting for his Daddy to turn the bathroom light on for him. Even if he had, he would never try to fix the problem on his own resulting in poo falling onto the bathroom floor. My husband did not proceed to step in said poo while walking into the bathroom to turn on the light. I did not have to get out of my warm, comfy bed in the middle of the night to scrub poo out of the tile grout with an old toothbrush. Not me!

I did not just write about poo on my blog - that's just gross!

My husband did not tell me at 6:30 am today that he plans to take me, B, my brother and my brother's girlfriend skiing for a few days next week. He knows that I am a planner and telling me the week before does not count as "planning ahead". I am not secretly really excited :o)


I did not allow my son to watch 3 episodes of Zoboomafoo in a row yesterday because it was making him laugh big belly laughs.

How about you -- anything you care to admit?

"Not me!" Monday

It's that time again! In following MckMama's footsteps, it's time for me to be brutally honest and live to tell about it. I'm definitely not a perfect mommy or wife, and here's proof!

For starters, I did not watch my son move his step stool from the bathroom into the kitchen in order to help himself to a pack of smarties at 5:15 am as I was preparing to leave for work. I am certain he did not get the idea that this is an ok practice because I once gave him yogurt and smarties before I left for work in order to keep him from crying and screaming for me to stay with him. Even if he had gotten his own smarties, I most certainly did not allow him to get away with it because I feel guilty for leaving him.

I did not leave my house at 4:30 am to go to Wal-Mart on Black Friday. Only crazy people go to Wal-Mart on Black Friday! I did not leave approximately 20 minutes after arriving because there were fights breaking out and police officers being attacked.

Even if I had gone shopping on Black Friday, I did not get Brennan two pairs of jeans, a sweatshirt, three sets of pajamas, and a long sleeve shirt for $29!

In closing, I would like to add that my house does not still have pumpkins sitting in front of it while every other house in the neighborhood has Christmas trees or lights. I would not justify this by stating that at least the rotten ones have been thrown into the woods. Like that would make it ok to have pumpkins out in December!

Nope, not me!

Another "Not me!" Monday

That's right folks, it's time for another "Not me!" Monday post. Be sure to check out MckMama's blog to read about the things she didn't do over the past week. Speaking of MckMama, she is trying to reach as many people as possible to create hype for String of Pearls, so pass her blog information to your friends.

As for me, I most certainly did not skip a week of "Not me!" Monday simply because I was too lazy to blog!

I did not manage to buy B a new coat, a new hat, two pairs of "glubs", "glub" holders, and a popcorn tin for $26 at Wal-Mart. Do such deals still exist?!

I did not eat half of a slice of almond pound cake as a pre-breakfast snack.

I did not finally get a week's worth of grocerys for under $50 ($49.68 to be exact) after (unsuccessfully) attempting to do so for several weeks. I also did not manage to do so after keeping track of my purchases on a calculator only to clear the total before I finished shopping.

I did not watch Wall-E five times since Friday because that is B's new favorite movie.

How about you? What did you not do this past week?

Another "Not Me!" Monday

For the original story behind "Not me!" Monday, head on over to MckMama's blog. Here is a list of things I did not do this past week (I don't care what you've heard!):

- I did not devour an iced sugar cookie while hidden in the kitchen so as not to been seen by my son. After all, that would be childish!

- I did not stalk MckMama's blog awaiting news on baby Stellan. I mean, I do have a life...don't I?!

- I most certainly did not turn my alarm off at 4:30 am this morning and proceed to sleep for another 30 minutes. I did not - wake up in a panic at 5:00 am; still manage to shower, find clean clothes, and throw my hair up in a clip; throw all of the contents of my car in the trunk; do a 6-point turn to get out of my driveway; stop and get gas, and still make it to the carpool lot on time. I mean, that's not even humanly possible, is it?!

- I did not actually make a list of things that I didn't do so that I would have something to blog about. I mean, that would be silly!

What about you? Anything you did not do that you want to be "bruatally honest and live to tell about"?

My Very First "Not Me!" Monday

Be sure to check out MckMama's blog to see where this very therapeutic practice started!

This past week, I most certainly did not:

- Allow my son to wear his Cars slippers out and about town because he wanted to wear them and I didn't have the energy to argue with him.

- Stay up until 1:45 am Saturday morning painting our guest room because I didn't want B helping me.

- Laugh uncontrollably after my son knocked a pumpkin off of the porch (instead of disciplining him) as it rolled all the way down our driveway and into the cul-de-sac. After all, I wouldn't want him to think that sort of behavior is acceptable.

- Wake up this morning and decide that my hair is clean enough from yesterday's shower; proceed to touch it up with a curling iron and leave for work - knowing that I had to stand up in front of a group of new employees and talk to them about conflicts of interest! Nope, not me!

So, what did you not do over the past week?!